A beginning.

When I first became a bereaved parent, several people suggested I should write about my feelings and experiences. Either in a journal or publicly, like this. At the time I couldn’t handle the thought. I knew I wouldn’t be able to get through one sentence without breaking down.

It’s now 4.5 weeks out and I realize that lying in bed and watching endless Netflix and crying and feeling sorry for myself is no longer a healthy way to process my grief. I’ll get stuck in that black hole, unable to figure out which direction the light is. And for my daughter and my husband, and also for myself, I can’t let that happen.

And so this is a beginning. The start of a journey without end. A love letter to Luke. A path to peace.

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4 thoughts on “A beginning.

  1. Thanks LanaSalt. I find that if I can force myself to write, I feel better and more productive afterward. It’s just getting there that’s a challenge. Isobel is beautiful! I’m so so sorry. This just sucks and it’s not fair.

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  2. I’m glad you are doing this! I was worried about you keeping everything in. I know the grief can swallow you. I know my grief thru Maggie’s diagnoses (thinking about things she’ll never be able to do, how different her life may be, getting aml or other cancer or becoming septic) is no where near what you feel about losing Luke, but I know in the dark days if I didn’t shake myself out of it it would be all too consuming. I’m hear for you. I think and pray for you guys everyday. God may feel far away, but here’s three right with you thru it all. He has not forgotten you!

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