Five days

Our induction is scheduled for Thursday, March 9. We have five days to go. I have spent the entire pregnancy not knowing whether we would make it this far. Now that we have, I find that the huge burden of responsibility for another’s life still has not been lifted from my shoulders, even though I am seeing one doctor or another three times a week. Monitoring of fetal movement still rules my life, and my brain. And in that regard five days seems an eternity away.

And also, the end of this pregnancy is bittersweet. This is my last pregnancy. Feeling their babies move is what many mothers cite as their favorite part of pregnancy. And it has been mine as well, and there are definitely times that I savor the movement, but I hate that it has also become such a source of fear and anxiety, something that most moms in “normal” pregnancies, oblivious to the fragility of life, will never experience. Just one more hard fact on this planet where my baby died.


10 thoughts on “Five days

  1. Five days. You got this momma. ((Hugs)) I am also wondering if this will be my last pregnancy, and feel the “sadness” that I will never again feel the movement inside. My son didn’t move a lot, and Kenley didn’t either. This pregnancy by far has been the “best” medically speaking and I enjoy her movements more than I ever thought possible.

    Thinking of you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. anxiety high for us as well as we hold on to the hope and prayers yours and Zacks& Zoes dream comes to life. …LOve you guys and cant wait to hear from you that he is here! Mom Moxley

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I was just thinking you must be close. I was moaning the fact that I work the next 5 days. I will gladly work them as I, along with so many others, wait somewhat impatiently with you and Zack. Love to you all!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Anxiously waiting to hear about baby’s safe arrival. Let me know if there’s anything at all we can do to help. Thinking of you! ❤


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